Spinning My Wheels

I feel like I've been spinning my wheels this week. I really need to take a moment to get my head right, to remind myself that even if I'm not always super productive, it's not because I'm *bad* or lazy or a byproduct of being self-employed. I'm sure there are plenty of employees who fuck the dog some days. I remember lots of easy work days when I was still in Cubicle Land that required sitting and listening to some high level manager give a pep talk or an ergonomics expert teach us how to sit properly at our desks. I know that there are lots of days filled with chasing memos, staff birthdays and water cooler chat.

Even though I know all this, I still find myself feeling like a bad person. Not just a bad employee but a bad PERSON.

My current hurdle? Trying to find some way to set up a spycam for my site. There are so many great web 2.0 sites now that allow anyone with a webcam to broadcast. Great features, everything seems to work smoothly...until they discover you (gasp!) are naked under your clothes. OK, and sometimes take those clothes off.

While I totally respect that there absolutely should be places on the net that have no adult content, even webcam sites, I'm stuck facing a rather ugly alternative. As far as I can tell, it's either squeaky clean, nary a nipple in sight or full blown Caligula style orgy cams with super graphic flashing banners all over the place. Advertising has its place and I certainly don't want to hate on anybody's ability to earn a living, but 17 animated banners? That play like little movies all over my screen while there IS a live movie in the middle of my screen? A little distracting! And no, not just because I have the attention span of a sand flea.

Most of the cam companies are using Flash to broadcast their cams, so I figured I'd spend some time trying to come up with a way to set up my own Flash cam server. First stumbling block - Flash broadcasting server software starts at $4500. Since I'm about, oh, four THOUSAND dollars short I think I'll have to keep looking.

Wheels keep on spinning...