Working on My Fitness

I've been feeling a little down this month - not wanting to get out of bed, always tired, generally blah. I thought it might be the lack of sunshine or a mild depression and I mentioned this to my mom when we talked this weekend. She always knows just the right thing to say. She figured I should quit being so hard on myself and look to the animal world for my explanation.

"You're not crazy. Your body just wants to hibernate."

Thinking of myself as a bear who wants to curl up in a cave and avoid the cold winter months is a lot more comforting than beating myself up for not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to stay in my flannel sheet nest!

Unfortunately, I can't afford to hibernate much longer, so I've been trying to go to bed a little earlier, leave the coffee out and ready to go first thing in the morning, and have been trying (or planning) to exercise more. I realized last week that I am totally out of shape. Before you groan and think I'm just looking for some ego boosting "You look fine!" remarks in the comments, let me give you the back story.

I do get out and walk a lot. Two dogs make it so I pretty much have to do that every day. I rarely go more than a couple of weeks without a trip to the gym and when I'm on a good schedule, I like to go 3 or 4 times a week. At my new gym, there are a ton of really interesting classes, so I've been getting out of my comfort zone (a magazine, mp3 player and the elliptical machine) and trying out some classes instead.

I've been really enjoying yoga classes, though I notice that my back is quite sore afterwards. Yoga helps me feel totally in touch with my body, so I'm thinking less that the yoga is actually causing the back pain and more that the yoga is helping me to figure out precisely where it hurts.

Since I spend so much time at my desk, my lower back is almost always sore. This has been going on for years. Since I started doing yoga, I can now tell that the pain is coming from my lower right side and can put my fingers on the exact, lumpy spot. Will definitely bring this to my doctor's attention the next time I see her.

I've really been enjoying the dance classes too - belly dancing, hip hop and a Brazilian one that I haven't tried yet, but looks like a blast. These are *fun*. They get me moving. But, and this is where the fitness thing comes in, I don't break much of a sweat and I'm definitely not breathing hard. Same with the yoga, though I do use more strengthening moves there.

If I didn't pose for pictures buck naked, I would probably be happy as a clam with my fitness levels. I look good enough in clothes, even though my pants are fitting a little too snug lately. Cellulite? Wouldn't even occur to me to check to see if I had any until next summer when I'm heading to the beach in a teeny bikini. But since I do take naked pics, that means I get the chance to go over every inch of my shape in high resolution. Lucky me!

So in order to drop a couple of vanity pounds, I decided to try a cardio dance class that advertises itself as something that will "sculpt" your body. Perfect! Could ya sculpt a little off my ass, please?

I laced up my creamsicle Nike's and staked out my place on the hardwood. As I waited for the flamingly gay instructor to get his music set up, I noticed how fit all the other girls in the class were. From the 60+ year old woman in the front row with rock hard abs to the twentysomethings that made up the rest of the class, everyone there was TIGHT. Looks like I'm in the right place, I thought to myself. Then I proceeded to not think anything else for the next 45 minutes other than, "Dear God when will this torture end?! HOW are these people DOING THIS???"

By the 7th minute of knee ups and kicks, I was looking at the clock in shock at how little time had passed.
By the 12th minute, I was sucking so much wind you'd have thought I'd done the whole thing under water.
By the 4th set of squats, my eyes welled with tears.
By the third set of 25 (!) girl push ups, I collapsed on my mat.

To be fair, the instructor's thin white tank top was see-through by the end of the class, soaked with sweat. So it's not like everyone else in the class was chatting on their cell phones as I struggled for breath, but...still. Wow. I was shocked to realize how little I actually work when I work out. I don't push myself at all. For years now I've been just going along at a pace that's comfortable, working up a bit of a sweat, but no more than that. It was definitely an eye opening experience.

And yes, I will be going back. As soon as my muscles stop aching and come out of hibernation.