On the Cold Front

The cold front is beginning to show signs of retreat & my crankiness melted days ago. I wrote this entry on Wednesday but didn't want to post it until I'd taken pictures of the pug first to go with it. That still hasn't happened, so away I post!

I had to leave the house yesterday to procure rations for the homestead & though I felt the burning onset of frostbite after just 12 minutes of being outside brushing the 4 or 5 inches of snow off my car, I survived. I was wearing a toque, a scarf, sunglasses, 2 pairs of gloves, big wooly socks plus had the hood up on my super warm faux mink coat that my mom bought me for my birthday last year (love it!). After I got the car somewhat dusted off, I sat inside it for a while & tried to warm up. The car was ice cold, but I honestly didn't think I could make it back to the house. I pulled my hands inside my coat & buried my face into the scarf, keeping my head low so that my warm breath would comfort my nose. After a few minutes I dashed back inside & left the car running for another 10 minutes so it could warm up. My fingertips wouldn't stop that pins & needles feeling & my nose had been replaced with Rudolph's. (It looks fine now, but it took over an hour for the redness & burning to subside.)

I realize that blog fodder along the lines of "cold enough for ya?" is not going to generate any technorati A-list blogger buzz, but I'm compelled to weather blog for 2 reasons:

1) You don't get it. You just can't possibly *get* how cold it is. For anyone crazy enough to live in climates like northern Alberta, this kind of stuff is the norm, but for everyone else I feel compelled to detail how excruciating the cold is because I really think you have no clue what minus 25F feels like. As I was driving yesterday I was thinking about people I met in Dominican who had never seen snow before (& think it's like that moronic Old Navy commercial, I bet), but also people like Trixie in WA who don't live that far away (I've driven there!), who do get snow & who have probably still never experienced cold like this. It seems bizarre that in this day & age of chain stores & global branding & satellite TV*, there are unique experiences left that other people my age, my friends no less, will never have for themselves. Bitches!

2) Lest I ever forget. I'm no masochist; as soon as my house is sold, I'm moving to pastures of any color other than white. Time does a funny thing though & if you ever hear me waxing nostalgic about going home or breaking out the old adage "yeah, but at least you can dress for the cold," please direct my attention to this post.

Fixing my attic louvers so snow stops blowing through the vent screens is proving to be rather difficult (thanks for returning none of my phone calls Home Association!) & this is a pretty major roadblock in putting my house up for sale, but my spirits are high courtesy of 4 little dog booties. I picked them up on my hunt/gather mission yesterday & though 2 of the zippers have already broken & they are destined to be returned to the decidely un-Super Pet, I can't stop giggling. I've inflicted several pairs of booties on the dogs, but they never stay on. The dogs can't do their business with cold feet, but they can't seem to do *anything* with covered feet. They walk weird, lifting up each paw really high & out to the side, trying to shake loose each ridiculously overpriced encumbrance. Eventually they always succeed & mom is left digging through snow banks trying to retrieve dog booties while the dogs are still shaking & whining & cold. "But THESE ones could work!", I convinced myself after inspecting the side zippers plus reflective velcro bands. Wooly inside, fake suede outside, laces...so cute! I couldn't resist.

The zipper/velcro/lace combination was no match for my Houdini hounds, but just watching them clomp around the living room was well worth the 20 bucks. The bottoms have this plastic-y grip which makes the funniest sounds on the hardwood floors. Kiero gets totally confused by the noise & I find this hysterical. I'm not a doggy dress-up kind of girl, so I haven't made either of my dogs wear the boots for more than a minute or two once they're inside, but my god am I tempted.


*Tied with the Old Navy Winter FUN!!! commercial for Most Anger Inducing is anything produced for Coeur d’Alene Casino. I don't even know where Coeur d’Alene *is*, but I'm quite sure that the sing song "at the Coeur d’Alene Casinoooooooo" jingle snippet has been permanently etched on my brain. If I hear anything else that sounds remotely similar to the words coor da lane, I spontaneously burst into song.