UnThankful

It's -23 C this morning with a "feels like" temperature of -33 C after you factor in the wind chill. My handy dandy unit converter tells me that is the equivalent of -27 F. Note the freakin' MINUS sign here, people!

If you didn't get your fill of things to be thankful for this weekend, you can add "not living in Canada" to the pile. You're welcome.

Since us crazy Canucks celebrated Thanksgiving a month ago (before the turkeys froze to the ground), I think I'll make a list of things I'm NOT thankful for.

My Un-Thanksgiving List

I'm not thankful that it is snowing in my attic.

I'm not thankful that each morning & periodically throughout the afternoon I have to shovel snow in my freakin' attic lest it melt into the insulation & cause (more) water stains on my bedroom ceiling.

I'm not thankful that my dogs cannot complete their bathroom duties in one outing. Their paws get too cold, so they need multiple trips outside punctuated with ample warm-up time.

I'm not thankful that eyes, nose & skin are all so dry from running my furnace on full blast that I'm constantly dragging my humidifier from room to room & slathering lotion as I go.

I'm not thankful for that motherfucking Old Navy commercial showcasing people frolicking in fake snow who obviously have no idea what real snow feels like or they wouldn't be so fucking shiny or happy or grabbing onto metal objects with their bare hands. I'm convinced that commercial was designed just to mock me.


Is it too early to break out the bah hambug's?




Note: I should probably attach a disclaimer here that I *am* grateful for many things in my life. Cold weather makes me crabby & though I know full well that it is a minor problem, it makes everything feel like a huge ordeal. Just going to the store to get milk feels like a tremendous undertaking - hat, scarf, mittens, boots, scrape the snow & ice off the car, let it warm up, let the windows defrost, try to get out of my area without getting stuck in the snow, try not to slide through any stop signs or red lights, freeze my ass off walking from the parking lot to the store, try not to let my pants drag through the muddy brown slush that is inside the front door of every busy store no matter how many times they mop it up, try not to think about how I was laying on a beach just weeks ago...